


The Difference

by prettyaveragewhiteshark



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2044236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyaveragewhiteshark/pseuds/prettyaveragewhiteshark





	The Difference

Sarah didn’t recall ever being this nervous before. Sex with men didn’t scare her. She knew how men worked, she knew what they liked and what they would ask for before they had to ask for it. The mechanics were fairly straightforward. There was a hardness to the way they felt, the way their bodies moved against her. A barrier that kept things free of emotional contact.

Women were a different animal entirely, it seemed. Cosima was different. Sarah was sure that she could see the other woman naked a million times and she would still get butterflies over it.

Right now, she was breathing deeply through her nostrils, trying to remind herself what composure meant as Cosima slowly peeled her shirt over her head, her lean body moving sinuously with the slow beat of the music. Her lines were exquisite, perfectly and painstakingly defined. The fluidity of her movement was captivating; Sarah had to check to make sure she wasn’t salivating.

Cosima made eye contact with Sarah and a slow, tantalizing smile slid across her lips. She danced closer to where Sarah sat on the couch and Sarah could feel her heart ready to leap from her chest.

"Come here," she managed in a low whisper.

"You like the view?" Cosima teased.

"Cos," Sarah said, more authoritatively this time. "Come here."

Cosima’s tongue showed slightly between her canines. “Why don’t you make me?”

Sarah moved like a striking snake, grabbing Cosima by her upper arms and pulling her back onto the couch so she was straddling Sarah’s lap. Sarah snaked her arm around Cosima’s lower back, making herself as tall as she could while pressing close to Cosima.   
Even that brief show of dominance made her stomach turn over. She drifted her fingers across Cosima’s collarbones, looking up into her clone’s eyes as she placed a gentle kiss on her chest.

Yes, this woman made her nervous. It wasn’t that she was afraid of breaking her. Cosima was not fragile. Far from it. She was precious. She was important. So the thought of approaching sex with her the way Sarah had done with all those men before made her cringe. Everything was different now. Cosima was not a means to an end. Cosima was valuable. Cosima was Cosima and that meant everything had to change. Sarah still wasn’t sure if she was doing this whole being with a woman thing right. She wasn’t sure if she was up to par by Cosima’s standards, and maybe that was the most nerve-wracking thing of all.

"Hey. Sarah," Cosima said. She lowered herself, now sitting completely on Sarah’s lap. Her eyes searched Sarah’s expression.

"What?"

Cosima smiled and leaned in, her lips brushing Sarah’s cheek, then her jaw, then her earlobe.

"I can hear you thinking," she said, the slight rasp of her voice sending shivers down Sarah’s spine.

Cosima’s lips traveled down the column of her throat, placing kisses every few inches.

"And let me tell you," she said. "For a first time lesbian, you are doing great."

"Oh, am I? Brilliant."

Cosima sat up, wrapping her arms around Sarah’s neck. “Mm. Totally exceeding expectations.”

Sarah pulled an offended expression, only partially joking. “Oh, were the expectations that low, then?”

Cosima laughed and all of Sarah’s hurt feelings vanished as she leaned in and locked their lips together. She felt the desire building low in her belly as her hands ran slowly up and down Cosima’s bare ribs. Cosima pulled away first, leaving only an inch of space between their mouths.

"You are very good at what you do, Sarah. Better than most."

Sarah drew back, surprised and somewhat skeptical. “Better than most? Are you pulling my leg or something?”

Cosima tilted her head, her dreads sliding off her shoulder. Her hand came up to Sarah’s hairline, stroking the skin softly. The look in her eyes made Sarah’s heart falter and it took a long moment for her to speak, but when she did her voice was thick with emotion.

"You love me, Sarah."

Sarah suddenly felt short of breath. The l word had never been a topic of discussion for them before. Sarah assumed it would come up eventually, but she knew she had loved Cosima for a long time already. Just saying it out loud had never been something she was entirely comfortable with.

Nor was it necessary, it seemed. But at this moment, with Cosima so near, her heart in her teary eyes, a slight smile on her beautiful face, nothing had ever felt so natural.

Sarah kissed Cosima then, pulling her close, then gripped the back of her legs and stood. Cosima locked herself around Sarah as she carried her into the bedroom. Their kisses were full of deep and heated, short sounds of urgency escaping their throats from time to time.

Sarah laid Cosima on the bed and crawled on top of her, gracing her body from navel to neck with kisses. She buried herself in the smell of Cosima’s hair, her skin, pressing her lips to the hollow beneath her ear.

"I do, I love you, Cos."

Cosima wrapped her arms around Sarah’s neck, fingers lacing through her hair. She kissed the side of her head, her jaw.

"I love you, Sarah."

Sarah found her mouth again and they wrapped themselves up in each other. Sarah still felt the nerves, but for the first time since she had met Cosima, she realized why.

Everything was different now.

Everything was right.


End file.
